to get her

that's what you have to do in order to be TOGETHER.

but as of now, I just want to talk to her. so I'll be a STALKER.

just pretend it rolls off the tongue pretty well.

anyway, I wanted this to be part 2 of my last entry, cause... I didn't seem to end it all too well. and because I wanted to say more but I wasn't able to cause... some random intellectual property right came to mind and my train of thought got derailed.

part 2:

okay, stalking isn't the easiest thing to do. no wait, it is. cause I seem to get a kick out of trying to live out scenarios in the games I play. err... don't get the idea that I play creepy stalker games. no, I play normal games normal people play... in america, or japan, or europe. cause normal people here in the philippines play dota and stuff. which I can't seem to enjoy. or probably I am just too pussified to face tough competition.

stalking probably is pathetic to some, if not, everyone. yeah, I'll admit it, I don't have the balls to just approach someone and say hi. It doesn't work that way for me, I work better in the shadows. like an assassination job, but instead of me doing the killing, its cupid's job to pull the string of his/her bow, all I have to do is to provide a name, a face, an information.

cause really, the one I am stalking right now wasn't the easiest to catch. last year, the only thing I knew about her was she's a 2nd year Literature major. but now, I pretty much know her educational background, activities she engaged in, her family, the car his dad drives, her friends, and her friends information. tell me now, I am just fucking awesome right?

Once I was in a contemplative state after watching Richard Linklater's Waking Life, I had the balls to click the 'add as friend' button. but having no friends in common, she ignored my request. after which I got paranoid, thinking that she probably knows me now and I am a sitting duck waiting to be ridiculed by her army of girls which came from exclusive schools. and a swarm of exclusive school girls are, scary.

she knows me, but I know her more. but it came to a point where it felt like it was some worthless research. its like doing philosophical dissertations, it ain't practical. a dude with balls would've gotten her with lesser effort than a stalker like me would. and so it came to be, it was probably a summer of love, or something else. but if my intel was correct at the time, she had a relationship from May to late-November/early-December. even if she might've broken up, I feel like I missed the chance. cause it'll roughly be around a year and a half until she graduates, and during my senior year I should stop being a stalker...

...by then she and I have to be together™