2013

disclaimer: during the writing of this blog entry, I'm in the province with crappy internet, and people who love watching pinoy big brother... I apologize for writing a blog entry while watching Pinoy Big Brother... it is a mortal sin, I know... because it pretty much messes with my already messed up mental processes...

I was able to watch the Nostradamus 2012 documentary yesterday.. and for those who're unaware.. the documentary was basically a bunch of nostradamus experts kissing his ass and proclaiming that the drawings from the lost book or something precisely describes when the world will end...

and yeah... it sucked balls...

c'mon.. a wheel with eight spokes can mean a lot of things! but apparently.. they'd rather interpret that as December 21, 2012 where the celestial crosses of whatever will meet.. and the day the world will end.. in some respects I'd accept that.. cause supposedly the Aztec calendar supports that claim.. well I haven't studied the Aztec calendar.. sooooooo yeah... whatever.. I'm watching the Finnish chick entering the pinoy big brother house.. sooooo my brain is working at 10%..

okay.. I'll press mute on the TV..

anyway.. whatever nostradamus said or whatever the drawings on nostradamus' book could mean a lot of things.. it's all about suggestibility.. its like a bunch of Tupac fanatics discovering the line "yes, I'm alive we be missin you" from a back masked version of his songs... YES! MAKAVELLI LIVES!

but yeah.. nostradamus experts sound more preposterous than the prophecies themselves.. they're practically saying that nostradamus' reputation is great and that his word tells us of our impending doom... AND SHIT

yeah.. sure.. nostradamus is a much more credible source than modern scientific studies..

also.. the show speaks of the 3rd antichrist.. the successor to the likes of Napoleon Bonaparte and Adolf Hitler.. wait.. was it bonaparte? really? I dunno.. I blame Pinoy Big Brother..

the show suggests that Osama Bin Laden is the 3rd antichrist.. cause they keep on showing vignettes of his face and the war in the middle east.. that's just bullshit.. and we all know by now why there is a war in the middle east...

yes... because America wants to rule the world! and because that part of the globe is rich in oil and the only way they can get the oil is by waging a war there.. cause they can't just go to Nigeria and take the oil there...

but I don't have to worry about the antichrist anyway.. cause I'm a Bhuddist..

anyway.. another bullshit interpretation was the arch under the wheel was reminiscent of the arc of the covenant.. that God won't destroy the world with water anymore.. but this time he'll use fire.. WHAT THE FUCK! that's just.. stupid.. c'mon.. seriously? a statement like that was given screen time on a documentary?!

also.. they spoke of the 13th zodiac sign.. the serpent bearer.. the one between Sagittarius and Scorpio.. and how it was supposedly on the center of the milky way.. or the dark void.. or whatever.. and how it was removed because it was the 13th zodiac sign.. but then I thought.. why the fuck would they remove the sign between Sagittarius and Scorpio?! when they can remove the last one.. which is Capricorn.. I think..

yeah.. the documentary was full of crap.. but the idea that we only have 3 years left to live tells us to seize the moment.. we'll die in a few years time.. might as well make the most of it and not just sleep all day..

because we can get all the sleep when we die...

a sunny days

here I am forcing myself to blog again...

I just got my grades.. and yeah... I am satisfied with my grades.. no.. scratch that... I am surprised with my grades.. with some grades at least...

copy paste commence!

INTRODUCTION TO COLLEGE ENGLISH	2.0
INTRODUCTION TO PHILOSOPHY	2.25
WORLD LITERATURES	2.75
CONTEMPORARY WORLD GEOGRAPHY	1.75
INTRODUCTION TO ECONOMICS I	2.25
INTRO TO SOCIOLOGY: SOCIETY & CULTURE	2.25
BUSINESS MANAGEMENT	2.25
CONTEXTUALIZED SALVATION HISTORY	2.75
KORFBALL	1.0

*dances to here comes the sun*

I was expecting most of my grades to be that way more or less... although my business management grade was somewhat disappointing given that it's my major subject for the semester (and not eco101).. I was expecting a 1.75 at least.. but then I remembered my group's case study sucked so much balls..

any form of PE is an instant 1.. I guess.. well.. given the fact that I was with phenomenal team mates.. we were like the post-End 28 at 82 San Beda team during the korfball games.. crushing the competition with a few losses here and there... and I'd like to believe my exceptional passing helped the team...

english was fun.. especially with Satoquia as the professor.. he's like the english teaching version of Sonajo.. both made me laugh so much during class.. both had love interests in the classroom.. and yeah.. they're both gay.. sooooooooooo a grade of 2.. yeah.. sure.. its okay.. his classes were a lot of fun anyway.. so why bother with the grades

sociology was a surprise given that our professor would rather teach at bilibid than our class.. and I had no idea how she'd get our grades.. but yeah.. I'm fine with a 2.25.. grades don't really matter after 5 years of work experience..

theology and world lit were letdowns.. both were my favorite subjects in high school.. no shit.. but yeah.. my theology professor wasn't as fun as Yusores and my world lit professor didn't like me as much as my past literature teachers did.. soooooo yeah.. screw those subjects.. its not like I'll be using the genealogy of Christ or Mario Vargas Llosa's essays when I start working in call centers...

I was very surprised with my philosophy and economics grades.. both of my grades for those subjects were borderline FEU-wards during the prelims..  and I failed my prelim exams for both subjects.. but wow.. although I got above average scores in my philosophy quizzes.. soooooooo I kinda expected 2-something grade.. but my god.. my econ grade is... just.. wow... I was expecting a 3.. thanks to my hairline passed quizzes and my one digit over 50 prelim exam...

and geography? meh.. I was expecting a 1-something grade.. when I was a wee young boy.. I loved reading about flags and capital cities.. sooooooooo yeah...

but anyway..

I'm fine with any grade.. as long as its not a 3 or 5.. what really matters, as with everything, is I'm happy with what I am doing and I don't receive death threats every now and then...

its been days....

for some reason I stopped blogging...

I never felt that twitter was something for me... I'd rather update people here... although nobody uses multiply anymore.. unless they want to view pictures of themselves.. oh wait.. facebook does that as well... sooooooooo yeah.. facebook devoured friendster and mutiply...

blogging here has its perks.. facebook was never the best place to blog.. and my short blogging stint in friendster was a bust.. and blogging for blogger seemed to lose its charm after second year high school...

and I really don't understand why I write things in my blog anymore...

its like.. I am compelled to type something with no apparent reason to do so...

after reading my past blog entries.. I realized.. my writing isn't that good... so why the hell am I still writing?

am I writing for myself?

am I writing for the readers? (and by readers.. I mean the 3 people that regularly read my blog)

what is my raison d'ecrit? (was that even proper french grammar?)

I was supposed to write (relatively) interesting blog entries... but I was too lazy to do so... and yes.. here comes the laziness...

I've always been plagued by it... screw me... I'm sleeping

protection agency

I don't want to listen to The Beatles anymore...

because listening to them reminds of The Beatles: Rock Band...

and thinking of The Beatles: Rock Band reminds me of how deprived I am...

and thinking of how deprived I am reminds me of how poor our country is...

and thinking of how poor our country is reminds me of how 5% of the Philippine population controls most of the wealth...

I can't believe that we are forced to accept this reality...

I can't believe how stupid the Filipino masses are...

and I can't believe that I am a part of the masses...

from birth I was taught to conform to the norms of society... my superiors fresh from the People Power armed with superstitious beliefs teach me how to sit down and shut up...

here I am... still sitting down and shutting up... only to realize that the training I've been having since I was a child was for employees and people under the man...

in as much as I don't want to accept this crippling mindset... I can't seem to kick it out from my system... I blame my protectors from keeping me from the real world.. and here I am getting hurt when everyone else have learned their lessons...

I don't see the point of parents protecting their children from A LOT of things... I don't see the point of protecting others anymore... you are building a wall to protect the person... thus, hindering growth and development...

...and where did I end up with all the protection? here... sitting in front of the computer..

shackled to my chair...

we all live in nigerian submarines

my four years in college just got bearable...

andyan ang condo ni richmond para tambayan ko after classes... I love it there...

andyan ang roof deck ng condo ni richmonde para tambayan ko after classes... I really really really really really love it there...

at andyan ang nigerian community ng uste para maging gateway ko to a comfortable life...

true.. di ko gusto ang lineup ng mga kablock ko.. na apparently makakasama ko for four years.. unless ma-debar ang ilan.. o ma-debar ako..

pero yeah.. Richmond is there.. Seng Kaew is there.. Gum Jali is there.. I wouldn't ask for more... I was never really a fan of the koreans in the philippines... masyado na silang marami and my marginal utility with them is way below zero...

kaya ang next target ko ay.. pagkatapos ng kolehiyo... I SHALL LIVE IN NIGERIA!!

all I need is the approval of my dad.. and a thousand dollars.. haha.. which is relatively easy to get in the span of 3 years..

marami akong realizations tungkol sa buhay nung nakila richmond ako.. realizations that wouldn't occur to me if I never sat on the roof deck and stared at the city scape...

from there up high.. I stared at manila bay.. at makati.. at ortigas.. and at human beings.. who are extremely small.. compared to the buildings they have created.. compared to the roads they paved.. compared to the ships and planes and trains they built...

it is so amazing how creatures so small can create such a world...

and looking at them from ground level... people don't seem as small as they seem to be from up high...

bore log

alas nuebe

kelangan ko pa maligo

wala pala akong deodorant... gamitin ko na lang yung de-spray.. I was never a fan of those.. pero I have no choice...

kelangan ko pa gawin ang activity sa sociology na matagal nang binigay ngunit di ko naisipang gawin.. ever.. hanggang ngayon... last minute talaga ako...

marahil sadyang nahumalig lang ako sa mga artikulong binasa ko kaninang umaga... at nakaligtaan ko na may kelangan pa kong gampanan na responsibilidad bilang mag-aaral...

The Beatles, or at least the director of Yellow Submarine, said that a minute is a long time... that's true.. when you look at it by the second.. but life isn't measured by the second... there is no scientific method to measure it.. this idea is too cliche.. and I really shouldn't be thinking about this

its stupid

thinking about life and its length makes it shorter.. you're practically wasting seconds of your life pondering on those things...

I have to move on

faster than how time does

but then I realized... can you really compete with a fixed construct?

a strange days

nakakabobo ang walang pasok... seriously... pumanget ang performance ko ngayong taon compared last year... ay teka.. pano ko nga ba mamemeasure yun?

anyway... nung mga huling linggo ng summer vacation na tag-ulan.. atat na atat na kong pumasok dahil sobrang nakaka-depress ang di nagbabagong environment.. pero 'oly shet.. dumating si A(H1N1)... natulak ang klase for a week... matapos nun eh wala akong maalala na significant na nangyari para maudlot ang klase ng ganun katagal.. pero andyan ang mga long weekends dahil sa mga ka-chorvahan ngadministrasyon ng uste para di kami magka-klase.. mga apat o tatlo ata yung mga fridays na wala kaming pasok... kaya that's 8-9 school days out of the calendar..

pero wag nyo kalimutang namatay si tita Cory.. at nauso ang mga fans ni tita Cory sa facebook at sinamantala naman ng ibang negosyo ang pagkamatay niya at nagbenta ng Cory themed apparel na binili naman ng sambayanan.. isang araw yun na nakaltas sa kalendaryo... but wait there's more! namatay pa si Ka-whoever ng Iglesia... that's another day off the school calendar... and we have a total of: 10-11 school days out of the window...

at eto nanaman po.. isang bigating class suspension na kasing haba ng sembreak ng mga hayskul students... humagupit si Ondoy! at apat na araw kaming walang kuryente! I wouldn't say na its an unfortunate situation.. dahil kahit papaano eh naputol ang monotony ng "gising-computer-kain-computer-tulog" cycle ko.. kaya it was nice I guess.. naglaro lang ako ng candle.. tapos binabalik balik ko yung natuyong tumulo na wax sa apoy.. at nagkaroon ako ng philosophical realization habang pinaglalaruan ang candle wax na di ko ididisclose sa blog entry na 'to dahil magiging masyadong mahaba... pero anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

15-16 days ang nawala sa school days ko.. and it is math time!!!

para sa basic education.. kelangan ng 200 school days per year.. that's 20 school days for one month.. and 5 school days for one week... so kung kakaltasin ang 15-16 days... kelangan magkaroon ng saturday classes para mag-compensate sa nawalang araw.. or kung autonomous naman ang isang pribadong iskwelahan.. pababayaan na nila siguro yun... kaya hooray for PAASCU

at para sa kolehiyo.. sa tatlong units.. kelangan ng 52 hours per sem.. thats 3 hours a week.. 12 hours a month.. and 60 hours per sem.. at dahil oras oras ang pinaguusapan natin... di ko na itutuloy 'to dahil pakshet sumasakit lang ulo ko sa numero... tama na...

on to the doy

no, I won't do volunteer work because number 1: I am technically a part of the depressed community that needs help... and number 2: I don't act charitable because everyone else is doing it...

yes... I am a non-conformist... especially to things that require much of my time... seriously...

people might flame me like the dubai lady in facebook... but no... I am not saying that we (and when I say 'we'.. what I meant was the Rizal area) deserved what happened... I am not saying that there are many sinners here and shit... what I am practically claiming is... hinde ako makatao...

end of argument...

or if you'd like.. you can post a comment and say how much of an ass I am... and expect other people to agree with you.. and expect me to not reply... but I would like to assure you that your efforts will be given due recognition.. albeit.. not online...

taray epek aside...

I do not feel like helping them by packing relief goods and helping with the process... I do not want to help others with something that I am not good with... relatively hard labor... yeah sure.. you can say that even the smallest of effort counts... okay then... let's just say every night I fervently pray for them.. any more qualms?

but seriously.. no.. I am not praying for them... I'm pretty sure God gave them what they need to survive... and no.. I am not pertaining to their material belongings because those things weren't given by God in the first place... following the theory of intelligent design.. God designed us so that we can stay alive... heck.. if the homo erectus did it without their permanent settlements.. what more with homo sapien sapiens? ooops.. wait.. those are two opposing ideas.. scratch that...

yeah sure... the typhoon will mark the beginning of the end of the world.. and I'm thrilled to have this humbling experience... that we have this finite existence on this planet... and that we will eventually go to a higher state of being... or whatever you believe in, young padawan...

but yeah... I won't help repacking the relief goods because number 1: I'm too lazy.. and number 2: its not my expertise.. and when I can't perform at my best.. I become lazy... so yeah.. I'm not being lazy because I'm a worthless piece of shit... I'm lazy because if I can't do my best... screw it.. I'm not doing anything at all... either I put my best foot forward and blow everyone away or I become a part of the crowd and barely do a dent of change...

...even Jesus wasn't a part of the crowds... he was the reason why there were crowds...

things seem...

pretty...

pretty much downhill... I guess... I dunno... really...

no... its too early for things to get messed up...

again... I am not happy with what I am eating lately... again... I am not happy with my daily commute... and again... I am not happy with things that I can't seem to do... that I really should do...

there'll always be something there to prevent me from doing the things I really want to do.... as with everyone else I guess...

or I dunno... I can't really be too sure...

you're pretty... you're not smart... but I can learn from you... people with long hair have no business dealing with you... really... unless they're women...

gravity is a bitch... and as long as there is a crust... I will never fall and burn straight right into the core...

...and that is how this idea was drilled into my head

later than never

I might as well sleep dahil may klase pa ko bukas at kukulangin ako sa tulog ng bonggang bongga...

but blogging helps me sleep.. well... after a cabernet it does...

studying economics... lost its charm when I got out of ser Sigua's class... its like.. he's one of those teachers who seem to make certain things interesting... and now... economics is just.. graphs.. and math... and shit...

I might change majors to Philosophy.. philosophical shit has always been my passion... in case you haven't noticed yet... yeah...

or I dunno... maybe I'm just bored with life and I don't feel like doing what everyone else does and suck it up and stick with my decision...

but seriously... I don't wanna be like the many people I've known who really really really wanted to take up philosophy but they were unable to due to... whatever circumstance...

err.. okay.. I just know of two people... but thats a big number! its not like you meet people who want to take up philosophy everyday... or I dunno.. most people would want to earn money... and they do that by getting a degree and presenting yourself to the employers or something...

but me? I'm fine with minimum wage... as long as I can sustain my needs and my parents will still pay for the electricity, water, and internet bills... I can pretty much survive...of course I can work as a freelance writer and do articles for small time tabloids... and yeah... I don't know where I was going with that thought... scratch that...

or I can work as a call center agent or something... that's where most people end up in right? at least I earn big.. while endangering my life with a broken circadian rhythm.. but the thing is... who'd want to live that long? I'm not an alcoholic, I don't smoke, and I haven't done drugs yet... sooooo.. working in a call center wouldn't be that bad I guess...

whatever...

I really wanna be a buddhist monk... seriously.. I wanna be the new buddha... and I won't be that fat guy with long arms and an unsheathed penis... but yeah... I think my worldly desires are just a diversion for whatever calling I seem believe in... you give me a chance to become enlightened or at least a path to enlightenment... I'd be willing to live a monk's life... but please let me bring my music with me... I don't listen to music because it makes me look cool that I listen to bands that nobody else listens to... I do it because it keeps me from jumping on the train tracks...

my desire to be a buddhist monk is like a jedi thing... just without the lightsabers and the force and sith and bad remakes of the trilogy... and of course without the Yoda telling me to "unlearn" whatever I know of... because... y'know.. we got monks here.. but they ain't no dudes wanting to be enlightened... and again... I really don't know where I'm going to with this...

I'm sleeping... peace out niggers

please please please

third quarter na ng uste-ateneo game habang ginagawa ko 'tong first line na 'to...

at ayaw ko na panoorin ang 4th quarter...

nakaka-stress lang panoorin...

La Salle should've won against NU..

La Salle-Ateneo game in the final four would've been better..

but yeah... di rin ito yung iniisip ko bago ko panoorin yung uste-ateneo game.. I was actually expecting a win for UST dahil wala si Salva sa ateneo at bumalik na si Maliksi sa uste... handicapped na yun ah! pero mas experienced ang team ng ateneo sa game na 'to... rookies galore ang uste eh... inaasahan kong mag-ba-back to back championship ang ateneo... pero next year... meh... wala na silang rabeh at yung isa pang matangkad... sure.. high scoring pa rin ang ateneo.. pero dapat may makuha silang tall guy.. more or less import mula sa ibang bansa o sa probinsya mangagaling yun.. dahil wala naman atang magagandang prospects mula sa juniors ng NCAA.. di ko lang alam sa juniors ng UAAP...

UST should develop its rookies next year for a championship-material team on 2011.. in line with their quadricentennial... kahit isang championship lang habang nasa uste ako... please lang...

ateneo is a good team... UST was... quite meh... pero for the next few seasons.. I am not expecting ateneo to win championships... unless mamentain ng ateneo marketability ng basketball team nila at makakuha sila ng mga magagaling na rookies...

natalo na Houston Rockets ko earlier this year.. tapos talo na pati ang UST Growling Tigers ko!

please lord... please.. please.. please.. please.. please.. please lang talaga lord...

sana wag matalo Beda!

ultrasober

after three and a half muchos downed... by Ezekiel Ponce

I am still in a state of controlled consciousness...

di katulad ni Ponce...

na gumagawa ng madramang kanta... dahil, after two muchos, may iniibig pala siya...

na kung sinu-sino na tinawagan... dahil, after three muchos, siya daw ang may ari ng Globe...

na sinusukahan ako sa likod... dahil, after three and a half muchos, di na niya alam ang ginagawa niya...

kasalanan ba ang maging dahilan kung baket malalasing ang kaibigan ko? pumunta lang naman ako sa bahay nila para tumugtog... at biglang may nagpakita na dalawang mucho... tapos gagawa daw kami ng kanta... tapos ako nag-provide ng riff at siya yung kumanta sa dilim habang may rosaryo sa likod.. at kinantahan ang kanyang chicks... na di niya akalaing may ganung pagtingin pala siya sa kanya... ika nga ni George Harrison "its all in the mind"

tapos nung na-realize niyang di lang basta testosterone gumagana sa kanya... kaya naisipan niyang bumili pa ng isang mucho... anlakas daw namin.. dahil naka-mucho daw kami.. na siya naman ang uminom... basically.. ang ingay niya nung naglalakad kami mula bahay niya papuntang buenas... anghihina daw ng mga kaklase niya.. dalawang gin bilog ata yung sinasabi niya.. tapos wasak na daw sila... kaya sinasabi ni Ponce "dapat malakas kayo... dahil galing kayo ng SAN BEDA"

waw... ganun ba talaga kalakas sa inuman ang bedista? alam ko sa pagkain lang eh...

pero yeah... I was still sober nung semi-lasing na si Ponce.. dahil maliit na lalagyan ng Piknik ang ginawa kong baso.. dahil wala nang baso..

but yeah.. he wasn't making any sense... but he was very chatty.. sobrang chatty eh.. tinawagan niya kung sinu-sino... at pinayuhan niya ang kapatid niya na mas masama mag-dota keysa uminom...

tama naman siguro.. dahil ang pag-inom.. andyan na yan since the dawn of man's ability to create beer...

whatever.. I am not making sense... I am still sober.. yeah.. just... sleepy...

smart people live longer

disclaimer: dadaist blog entry

it will always be difficult to understand the mind of others... but it'll always be easy to read what it wants to say...

because you can make any dish spicy except hard boiled eggs... and you can make every meal filling with a bottle of ale...

but there will come a time that what you're doing becomes a crime... and your friends will turn on you because they realized that they were blind...

in the end it will not matter how many people you have flattered... because it'll always be the good deeds that your friends won't remember...

unlike your enemies who will cherish every act you commit unto him...

if singing without inhibitions was a mortal sin... then God should banish me to hell after screaming LSD...

and when muslims call Allah and Picasso will paint Mohammad... then always expect injustice because you are always wrong with faith...

unless you send all stupid people into space... smart people like you will forever live longer

cameraphone run

may bago akong celpon.. at yung celpon na yun ay may kamera...

at pag binigyan mo ko ng camera... kung anu-ano ang nakukuhanan ko...

sony ericsson cybershot whatever
no flash

burmalunch

pinipilit ko si claudia carbonell na pumunta sa museum kanina para makausap siya ni eduardo gaspar ng masinsinan...

pero dahil ayaw ni claudia.. at wala akong makasama.. I stumbled upon Zai Sang Kaew, Lazing Kum Jali, and Roca... ang mga burmese friends ko...

bumuntot ako sa kanila hanggang bigla na lang akong nasa jeep papunta sa bahay nila... haha

pero una eh.. pumunta kaming Puregold para bumili ng pang-grocery nila... grabe.. umabot agad ng libo ang pinang-grocery nila.. kahit fruits at processed meat lang yun.. grabe... gets ko na tuloy kung pano mamuhay ng mag-isa...

but wait.. there's more!

nung nakapunta ako sa lugar nila.. dun ko talaga nafeel kung pano ang buhay ng mag-isa lang.. grabe...

their place was very messy... I can't describe.. you just have to get there to really understand it... basta imagine... a pad for drug dealers or something.. hahaha..

tatlo sila.. at hiwa-hiwalay ang rooms nila... at makikita mo talaga ang personalidad nila sa itsura ng room nila...

nauna ako sa room ni Jali Lazing... grabe.. puro bote ng hard liquor.. puro containers ng peanuts na puno ng upos ng sigarilyo.. puro mga ubos na kaha ng iba't ibang sigarilyo... kalat ang medyas... may desk.. at may desktop computer na may CRT monitor... at may kama sa sahig... madumi siya kung sa madumi.. pero di ako nandiri... sabi ko nga kila seng kaew "this place is very interesting, and just because I said interesting doesn't mean its beautiful"

pero yeah.. napansin ko.. I see the beauty in even the most ugliest things... or I dunno... sa mga circumstances pessimist ako eh.. pero pag sa visual stimulus and what not.. optimistic ako para makita ang taglay na beauty nito... or whatever..

anyway...

sumunod na kwartong binisita ko ay kay Roca... na di ko alam full name.. di kasing dumi ng room ni jali.. pero may isang malaking container siya ng dilis.. may bote siya ng jack daniel's.. marami siyang hygiene stuff.. may laptop siya.. ang dating bote ng wine eh ginawang lalagyan ng barya... at ang kama'y nasa sahig... mas neat ang room keysa kay jali.. walang upos ng sigarlyo kung saan saan... pero halatang room pa rin ng male college student..

nung napunta ako sa room ni seng kaew... its bigger than the other two.. and my gad.. its the most organized... grabe... parang di panlalaki... pero pansin naman sa personalidad niya.. na organisado siyang nilalang... walang alak.. walang upos ng yosi... pang normal na bahay...

they invited me for lunch.. nagluto sila ng asparagus something, itlog na maalat na may sibuyas, at squid... lahat ng linuto nila.. maanghang! grabeeeeeeeee... keber naman yung anghang.. di lang ako sanay...

naghanda na rin sila ng tig-iisang bote ng red horse... wala kasing tubig eh.. haha..

apat kaming may tig iisang bote ng red horse.. pero si jali.. may iba pang alak sa table eh.. di ko alam kung ano.. pero nakita ko 35% yung alcohol whatever... istreyt lang siya eh.. ankulet.. lahat ata ng mga alak sa kwarto niya eh... istrteyt na.. pang tunay na lalaki talaga..

kaya pagkatapos ng meal eh ambigat ng feeling ng tiyan ko.. satisfied? oo...

pagktapos naming kumain eh nagkaroon kami ng diskusyon ni seng kaew tungkol sa relihiyon at politics at kung ano ba talaga ang biggest mall sa buong mundo.. just what I love talking about... habang nanood ng porn si Roca sa laptop niya.. at nanood ng porn si Jali sa desktop PC niya.. kaya angweird.. kasi parang mature na usapan kami ni seng kaew.. tapos mga gawaing pang adolescent yung kasama namin...

matapos eh.. sumakay ako ng jeep papuntang sm sta mesa para makasakay ng lrt... and home sweet home...

tapos talo beda sa jru.. huhuhu

pero anyway.. my stay in the burmese people's house was quite fun... I'd like to go there once again...

almer's: love forever gone

kumain ulet ako sa Almer's kanina...

para lang matingnan kung babalik nga ang pagmamahal ko para sa sisig nila...

unfortunately.. it wasn't the case.. di katulad ng tootz.. na napamahal ulet ako...

nakakasawa ang Almer's

and this makes me a sad tomasino

or baka masama lang talaga yung gravy nila... nawala yung sarap ng sisig nung nag-gravy na ko eh.. tsk tsk...

or sadyang bumabaho lang talaga ako kaya ayaw ko na sa almer's?

oh well papel.. alam ko na kung san ako kakain bukas

rama: rekindling the love

hayyyy buhay

napakaginhawa talaga

kumain ulet ako sa Mang Tootz.. after tootzless days.. at ung usual inorder ko.. sisig at breaded chicken with garlic ranch sauce and extra rice... this time.. masarap na talaga handa nila.. di katulad nung last time.. putcha.. lasang panis yung sisig.. matigas tigas yung kanin.. tapos lasang tubig gripo yung.. tubig.. na galing sigurong gripo..

pero ngayon

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

sobrang nakaka-high yung tamis ng breaded chicken nila na lasang itlog.. at yung sisig nila na mamantika at puro sibuyas.. sheeeeeeeet...

pero ang talagang nagpasarap nung experience eh.. ang banana rama!

holy shit.. grabe.. masarp na ulet ang rama nila.. di na mga hilaw na saging ang ginagamit... tapos naglalagay na rin sila ng sarsa.. grabe!

sobrang di talaga ulet ako kakain dun... para di ako magsawa...

next stop.. Almer's!

void

there is a room... in manila... waiting for me...

it will be a small square room with orange walls and the clouds with be its ceiling and the darkness of space will serve as the floor...

it will have no doors or windows...
but I will be able to enter and exit the room freely...

lights will be dancing around the room bringing with it a scent of lavender...

books and worn clothes will be everywhere... the room will be messy...
but amidst the chaotic environment... I shall be at peace...

a tree will grow out from the middle of the room... it shall have every kind of fruit hanging from it... and I can freely take any fruit I want...

it will be a room where love and hate are just sets of letters that do not bear any meaning at all...

it will be a room where the self is not subjected to illusions of pain and pleasure...

no longer shall the existence of the room and of mine will be of no value in the fixed construct...

within the room I will be able to breathe... without me the room shall only be a void...

sisig hunt: aftermath

I don't want to sound cliche by saying that my marginal utility for sisig around UST has gone negative...

...but apparently thats the case...

halos magiisang buwan na kong di kumakain ng sisig sa may uste.. either umuuwi na ko ng maaga.. or nag-eexplore ako around UST...

siguro dahil rin sa ulan kaya di ako kumakain sa tootz o almer's lately... pero I dunno... mas may panahon na ko maglaro ng guitar hero: world tour sa corner ng p nov at ng dapitan keysa sa sisig...

napansin ko na medyo Darren Aronofsky's Requiem For A Dream ang nangyari sa affair ko with sisig... sa una eh sobrang enjoy ako.. at pakiramdam ko eh this will be the best thing ever at tatagal siya hanggang umalis ako ng uste... pero habang tumatagal.. wala nang ngiti sa aking muka pag umaalis sa establishimento ng mga kainan ng sisig.. naiinis na ko pag napupuno ang aking tiyan.. at di na ko ganun ka-atat habang nasa pila ng tootz o naghihintay ng order sa almer's

law of diminishing marginal utility nga...

kaya lately.. mga Wendy's burger ang iniibig ko... lalo na yung quarter pounder nila.. pero 145 pesos.. compared sa singkwentang binabayad ko sa tootz o almer's.. pero natuto na ko... alam kong balang araw di na ko ganun ka-satisfied at high pag nakatapos ako ng isang burger ng Wendy's..

matutulad rin ito sa lost love ko for:
 - DQ Oreo Blizzards
 - Lucky Me Sweet and Spicy Pancit Canton
 - McDonald's Double Cheeseburger Deluxe
 - siomai
 - McDonald's Chicken Fillet McSavers Meal
 - McDonald's Sausage McMuffin with Egg
 - Clover Chips

kaya kelangan kong masubukan ang Baconator habang binebenta pa siya

at the end of it all.. there's still hope.. na baka bumalik ang pagkawili ko sa mga sisig ng uste.. subalit maaring hindi ito katulad ng bliss ng first love ko sa sisig...

number nine.number nine.number nine.

The Beatles' Revolution 9 on repeat while doing a blog entry on 09.09.09... is the most absurd thing I've done so far.. on multiply

listening to the song isn't the most fabulous thing ever...

and trying to think of... something to write... while... dadaist music is playing loud... is...

I'm finding it difficult to even focus on typing sentences that make sense... well my blog entries rarely make sense... and I guess... listening to a seemingly senseless song... might hopefully... do a negative*negative=positive effect on me... me?

well no... I seriously can't think clearly...

it feels like some bad acid trip or something...

now I changed the song to While My Guitar Gently Weeps... just to get rid of the bitter taste off my tongue..

*after the song*

okay.. back to Revolution 9

okay...

college won't be the most fabulous of experiences if I'll be with my classmates for four years... they're not my crowd... of course I can endure four years with them.. its college.. college is more about studying hard and less about the people you are with... lalo na pag the people you are with would most likely end up in office spaces...

I'd study in La Salle if we had the money.. or I dunno.. andun ba talaga crowd ko? baka mag-inglesan lang kami at magsuot ako ng mga conyo wear from Topman or whatever...

my wallet stays in uste

dahil sa halagang 35 pesos.. may tapsilog ka na... na kasing dami ng isang shot glass.. at itlog na kasing laki ng isang chips ahoy cookie... at libreng tubig sa stainless steel na cup!

hay buhay.. napaka-ginhawa talaga..

lalo na pag binabaha sa may uste...

di ko siguro ipagpapalit ang mga araw na masa-stranded ako sa uste sa kahit anong maginhawang karanasan sa ibang unibersidad... kung pinoy ka nga talaga.. kelangan mong pagdaanan ang hirap na dinaranas ng ating mga kababayan... and its not just for the sake of experiencing it... yun eh para maintindihan mo ang sitwasyon ng mga taong mas pinili di magsikap kahit papaano...

magandang argument rin kasi yung "they chose to be that way and I choose to live comfortable"

pero ganun na ba tayo ngayon? ang mga nagsasarili na lang? at pinapabayaan ang kapakanan ng mga kasapi natin?

yun sa tingin ko ang problema ng... buhay... na ang mga nasa taas tumataas at ang mga nasa baba ay namamarginalize...

pero pwede rin natin 'to tingnan not as a problem.. but as something that naturally occurs in societies.... nakasaad sa On the Origin of Species ni Charles Darwin ang natural selection.. nakasaad sa Principles of Biology in Herbert Spencer ang survival of the fittest.. ang mga nasa baba ay tuluyan dapat mawala dahil sila ang humihila ng standard of living pababa...

... at pag nawala ang mga nasa baba?

papalitan ba ng pinaka-mababa sa highest strata of society ang mga dating linalait-lait lang nila? o magkakaroon rin tayo ng isang utopia kung saan lahat ay nagsisikap at nakukuha ang gusto nila at di umaasa sa iba para mabuhay?

kung ako tatanongin... mas gugustuhin kong tuluyang maglaho ang mga mahihina.. dahil in one way or the other... kagagawan rin nila ang kanilang demise... di mo naman pwedeng asahang darating na lang sa'yo ng kusa ang fruits of labor kung wala nga naman talagang labor... diba?

ang buhay ng taong nangongopya lang ay heavily dependent on social relations... take society away from them.. and they might perish... but I do not believe that they should be frowned upon.. its the process that works for them... it may not be the right thing to do... pero pwede rin i-contest ang moral standards ng society dahil... ano nga ba talaga ang tama? just because everyone's doing it doesn't mean its right... following that argument... just because everyone things that killing is bad and stealing is bad.. doesn't mean that it is right...

are you gonna counter that with there are exceptions to the rule? but wait... just because you want something or everyone wants something to be exempted from that rule.. doesn't mean that it should be... that is... if we are practicing freedom... and not freedom dictated by yet to be proven entities...

because sometimes it feels right to shoot someone who had done you wrong... sometimes it feels right to steal something that was stolen from you...

cause it seems like... a lot of us are irrationally protecting ourselves from laws that can be easily taken advantage of... or at least those who can afford legal services...

again.. we go back to the survival of the fittest argument... and yeah.. it is a benefit or luxury of some sort to be able to take advantage of others who are of lesser status than you are...

or am I connecting wrong ideas to form one huge absurdity?