cause no one uses multiply anymore

so I am free to do whatever I want.. and nobody would care..

oh wait.. scratch that... a group of girls misread one of my blog entries a while back and they seemed to have been pissed.. so people still care about things in multiply... especially with anything which concerns their public image...

then it got me thinking... *now this is the part where you close this tab... cause nobody cares what I think.. except if its about other people* yeah... okay.. so yeah... no point in explaining anything cause everyone's off to Facebook or something...

I remember this line which goes something like "simple minds talk about other people.. normal kids talk about events.. and geniuses talk about.. something of a higher thing or whatever" so does that mean that the majority of the populace is simple minded?

well I guess so... cause when you look at how many consumers are in this world in comparison to the producers.. its pretty imbalanced... y'know.. like... there these few people who think of ways to help man kind... and a bunch of greedy fuckwads put prices tags on it... and then the masses go out and purchase those things.. that's how capitalism works.. yeah.. its evil but it works... that is why we have iPods and Blackberrys and shit..

cause its like... we get all these tech stuff not because it makes life easier anymore... well.. it used to... but... nowadays its just like the masses are driven to buy shit like those because their itching to get their hands on it..

and apparently I fail to see the point of getting into trends.. well.. err.. maybe I used to join the bandwagon... cause I remember when I was little.. everyone had this little cards we call 'tex' or something... I used to buy a ton of those stuff.. especially the one with the dragon ball thing.. then it went to those little motorized cars called Tamiya.. I had one of the most expensive Tamiyas back then... I remember having to dive onto the rough pavement cause it almost gone in to the sewers.. and looking back.. maybe it was a lesson on how even when I was a child I knew how valuable things are... but unfortunately I had a skewed perspective on value cause it was proportional to the object's price... and nowadays I don't think the value of something shouldn't be equated with its price... cause like the cheapest of meals can satisfy me more than overpriced meals along the bay area.. and like... people don't have price tags attached to them... and yet I get to pass by a lot of people everyday and most of them don't seem to matter to me... but I'm not saying that strangers have no value.. cause I like this lady.. I get to see her frequently at school.. and I dunno.. she makes me feel like no other stranger has made me felt before...

so yeah... after Tamiyas it went to Beyblades those overly decorated tops... tops.. like trumpo.. not clothing top... but yeah.. you get the idea... and again.. being financially capable I got one of the expensive ones.. the shit with like the magnets and it made me believe that it really work.. but now.. maybe it was just put there to drive the price up... cause cheap steel Beyblade knockoffs from Divisoria were able to beat the shit out of my Beyblade which costs ten times more... in a way... it kinda served as a metaphor.. for like.. the rich and poor kids.. and how the rich kids are worth more than poor kids (yeah.. ask your local kidnapper) but they're more fragile.. and a poor kid can whoop a rich kid's ass anytime..

then it went to Pokemon cards... I never got into Magic The Gathering cards.. cause I was little back then and the cutesy imagery Pokemon presented was more enthralling than Magic's.. and yeah.. being the privileged kid I was... I got the most expensive card I was able to get.. it was Charizard.. it was pretty expensive.. think $20.. now add the inflation rate.. and there you have it... and right now.. I kinda feel bad for my dad.. cause I fooled him into buying that.. and then I lost it a few hours later... cause it was a piece of cardboard and it can easily slip away or something... its amazing how such things can cost so much... but it was only until now that I realized how valuable it was.. cause back then I wasn't able to have much time with the card so I didn't had any attachment to it.. and I will sound like an asshole for this... but that's how I felt like with my grandparent's death... like.. the only time I cried was when I was forcing myself to.. it never occurred to me naturally to shed a tear cause I just had to... it was like I had to justify why I should cry and then tears fell...

so it occurred to me.. that maybe I was a kid with autism or asperger.. and I never had much emotional attachment to something or someone... I guess in some respect I should be glad that I am unable to mourn for the loss of whatever.. cause I don't have to go through the emotional breakdown.. but viewed from a different perspective.. I feel so out of place.. it sounds melodramatic but when others cry and I can't seem to.. I don't feel like I am able to connect with the people around.. I don't feel like I'm human..

so after that I just stopped buying things which are in season... although I bought a pair of hi-cut chuck taylors and vans slip ons before they were the fad...

and in retrospect.. I was driven to buy those toys.. because it was something everyone had and it allowed me to connect and interact with the society I was aware of.. and being humans we are driven to find a place where we belong... and right now I'm not in a position to join the bandwagon and just do or get whatever is the fad just to belong... I won't join the crowd if I am not fit for it... so I'd rather look for a group of people where I can be myself without having to force myself to buy or do things just so I can belong...

but yeah.. the philippines is just one small dot in a bigger dot called the earth which is part of one huge void called the universe

what was I talking about originally?