I have a good friend, who thinks too far into the future... he remained single for quite sometime, and the idea of not being able to marry someone scared him. so he constantly looked for a girlfriend who essentially would be his wife. as of writing, he isn't single. and he intends to marry his girlfriend... sounds weird, but he thinks too long term.
admittedly, I went through that phase. I was afraid of dying lonely and not being able to marry. though I'm fairly certain that it's everyone's fear to die lonely... but it's not a realization kids my age have. I never looked for a girlfriend whom I would marry unlike my friend. I just wallowed in the fear. I persevered though, I was able to accept and learn how to be single... eventually I even loved being single.
thus, I am not afraid of dying lonely, nor will I die lonely. I am fairly certain that at the age where everyone starts to get married, I will cave in. by then it doesn't have to be an ideal woman, as long as she's fertile. if I don't cave in however, maybe I'll end up like my dentist aunt. the only difference between the two of us, is that I am not overtly religious. maybe instead of the pets she surrounds herself to compensate of the lack of family to be with her, I will buy toys to relive the childhood my parents weren't able to afford me, though I do consider myself very lucky already. or maybe I'll start a school or a non-profit organization for kids. maybe I'll fill the void by helping the needy.
or maybe I'll die before I even get pressured into marrying...
but I'm not afraid. cause there are other things I should be afraid of... like surviving college, the possibility of dying family members, and the cockroach flying around the room.
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