numbers define who I am

it's stupid, but for some reason... it all makes sense to me. I apply for a job, the HR will look at a sheet of paper and that is how I am judged. and I never had the best looking transcript, I have grades as high as 1 and as low as 5. that one smudge, the 5, is something I'll attribute because I didn't study hard enough, I chose to do other things...

I view myself as a martyr of some sort. I have a couple of friends who are on the brink of debarment and yet I chose to help them rather than studying for a major subject. You might argue that I might've had ulterior motives, that if I helped them, I can probably get something in return. No, they're kids on the brink of debarment, what favors could they possibly return? Apart from the thank yous and whatnot, they've got noting else to give. Thus I see myself as a good samaritan, someone who'd help people in need just because they need it.

Some people might call them losers, or useless pricks, or dregs of society, but I'd rather call them underdogs... and I love underdogs. In perspective though, we're all a bunch of losers. The microcosm where underachieving kids are labelled losers is part of a bigger society where, in the grand scheme of things, those who're on top of that microcosm are the losers of a much higher society, and so on and so forth. That's why sometimes I set my desires aside because I am well aware that no matter how I try to climb the top, there will always be people up there...

and remember: the higher they get, the harder they fall.

so my counter-argument would be: together we stand, divided we fall.

cause I believe that there is strength in numbers, and if I convert some relatively worthless prick into a somewhat productive member of society, then that's one step to a better world.

so in a sense, numbers do define who I am... no, I am not pertaining to my grades and my transcript, but the number of people whose lives I've made better. thing is, when it's about love, I am very generous... I share the love to as many people as I can... and I find solace in that because...

...in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.