the more I get older.. the more I don't feel the spirit of christmas...
...or maybe I'm just in an emotional recession?
but I've adopted a new philosophy of "everything is gonna be alright"... I think that's a song... I must be a song.. c'mon... is there any line that hasn't been turned into a song?
the family wouldn't be having a christmas party... for reasons I don't think you'd care about so I won't bother even typing it here... but yeah... well yesterday we had.. I think.. but we were too busy playing rock band... now that I got the beatles.. everyone can now sing... and play.. and... yeah...
god damn it... my train of thought just got derailed..
this is like... one of the instances where I really wanna say something substantial.. but I never seem to make any sense... or at least I am not articulate enough to do so... but yeah...
I am fucking irritated.. I feel like... there is something missing.. and I can't function properly without it... no, its not sleep.. I've had 7 hours of sleep... its not a bath.. because... well.. you already know why...
this sounds cliche... but life feels empty... seriously..
yeah sure.. everything is going to be alright.. but... does that necessarily mean that life feels worth living? no, I am not going to snuff it... I may be insignificant... but hanging myself would only make me more insignificant... less important than a footnote on a book about the history of staplers...
I seriously need to get out of the country or something... or out of the planet... I feel like an extraterrestrial being.. or... like.. a person ahead of my time...
but yeah.. I think the label of being "ahead of your time" was invented just to make the crackpots and weirdos feel better... just like calling mentally retarded people as "special children"
whatever.. I'll just do a christmas gift review later... because the people I'll be thanking are those who will not be able to read any of my blog entries
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