resentment...
no.. I seem to be at a better position to even care...
its almost too good of a position to even take anything seriously... even myself... seriously..
I dunno... suicide is such as beautiful proposition... but just like communism.. it only sounds good.. and that's it...
yet at this altitude I can still breathe... the lack of pressure keeps me afloat.. in my head... but even though I am on the peak of mount apo... there is still everest to conquer... and olympus mons... and it keeps getting higher and higher.. until you forget what you were doing in the first place...
and I'm fine being with the foot of the mountain.. where everybody else are... even though you may have had a huge achievement.. its still always lonely at the top...
but no.. I've asserted that I am not on the foot nor on the peak... I am high up above the skies... a spot where only few have dared to stop... because everyone else is climbing their way up.. too busy to stop in the middle of things.. and try to enjoy the view... of being above it all...
its always whats above you.. and never whats bellow.. it is no one's fault for we are humans.. and we were designed to go up...
we do not fall by choice... it is how nature is designed to exist with us... yeah sure.. some would rather put the blame on us for having the predicament of having predicaments.. but I'd rather think that it is what makes us human... the ability to be certain of uncertainty.. otherwise if we knew what was coming then might as well not live life... because you are aware of what is going to happen.. therefore you have lived out your life.. now die....
when we do hit rock bottom it is by design that we go up... unless we get crushed in the process of falling.. or we go into a cycle of falling and getting up and falling but with greater force pulling you down... if we do not fall into those quagmires.. our bones, muscles and will will grow harder, better, faster, stronger... yes oh yes.. what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger..
and in the end... we either settle with the certainty and difficulties of hardwork.. over the uncertainty and wonders of luck..
then we die
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