musings of a directionless boy

a year later... and I am stuck here in my room full of books I will never read...

behind me is a long desk full of things that ought to be put in the rubbish bin...

and in front is a friend who has kept me shackled...

...so what now?

anyway...

lately I've been having a bad time with my classmates... or at least with the natives among my classmates.. I've never had problems with people of different race...

yes, I know... I am not with the proper crowd... but I am forced to be in this predicament...

but I'll learn how to deal with it... or maybe I already know how to...

all I'm waiting for is my sophomore year.. so the kids whom I am not in good terms with will be transferring elsewhere..

I guess its all about the people you spend time with... and lately I've been spending time with the wrong people.. ergo, I have to go elsewhere and meet new people.. and when things don't work out as I wanted it to be... then do it again and again and again... ideally, that would be the plan... because in the middle of things I turn out to be an ass... so I have to go to other people who are not aware of my inherently bad attitude..

its like a renewal of some sort

I need to go through a cycle of renewal because like a mentally ill person (according to the DSM-IV)... I can't maintain lasting relationships..

unless the other party tries to work things out...

I mean... I don't think there is anyone who can handle me.. not that I'm saying that I'm wild or liberated... but I have yet to meet a person who can tolerate me, distinguish my sarcasm, and can read the meaning behind my actions...

no, I am not willing to compromise... I will either live happy or sad... either which way I am going to be screwed because every effort I put into living will ultimately be meaningless unless I become part of the history books...

long live multiply! and death to the faddists!