and I had a short conversation with someone who means so much to me.
she now knows what to call me, I now know what to call her. it starts with that, but it's kinda funny that it took a lot of guts to type a few words on the keyboard. I was sober, and sobriety makes a coward out of me.
it started with eyes meeting
it continued on into fascination, which nowadays would be called "stalking". now that we both know what to call each other, and I can finally say "we" and "both", I'd really like to know her better. more than just what she tells me to call her, more than the images which are publicly shown, more than the conversations she has had which are as public as well. If I will settle for something, the least takeaway I'll have is getting to know her... if it ends there then at least I met someone new, and I've always subscribed to the idea that "new is always better"
so if today, what I can call her, then next time, something new, who knows?
at 4AM I'll try to sleep.... cause sleep is always good. but living out your waking life is better.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Saturday, December 03, 2011
I think
and it isn't loving.
people tend to argue the dichotomy of the brain and the heart when it comes to love. realistically, it doesn't exist. the heart pumps blood and nothing more, the brain does all the "loving". but for content's sake, I really have trouble between the two... right now.
yes, it is a good feeling to be enamored with someone. you think of them a lot, your fondest memories of the person befalls you and leaves you with a smile. it is nice to love, especially when you are totally fine with the unrequited kind, which rarely happens, or maybe it only happens to me. I do not consciously seek for opportunities to determine if the person feels the same way I do because I am happy with what I have and who I am.
trouble is, I'm starting to obsess on the person so much so that it's almost intrusive to my single life. I love being single and having all the time for your friends because I've always held to the idea that "with friends like these, who needs a romantic relationship?". so despite not being committed to someone, I feel torn between the person whom I like so much and the companions I've always had.
it's kinda stupid really, probably even a laughable story? sometimes I'm TOO loyal.
people tend to argue the dichotomy of the brain and the heart when it comes to love. realistically, it doesn't exist. the heart pumps blood and nothing more, the brain does all the "loving". but for content's sake, I really have trouble between the two... right now.
yes, it is a good feeling to be enamored with someone. you think of them a lot, your fondest memories of the person befalls you and leaves you with a smile. it is nice to love, especially when you are totally fine with the unrequited kind, which rarely happens, or maybe it only happens to me. I do not consciously seek for opportunities to determine if the person feels the same way I do because I am happy with what I have and who I am.
trouble is, I'm starting to obsess on the person so much so that it's almost intrusive to my single life. I love being single and having all the time for your friends because I've always held to the idea that "with friends like these, who needs a romantic relationship?". so despite not being committed to someone, I feel torn between the person whom I like so much and the companions I've always had.
it's kinda stupid really, probably even a laughable story? sometimes I'm TOO loyal.
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