break up number 3

I've had at least 3 break ups in the span of 3 months. 4 if you count the "not formally in a relationship but still wanting to part ways break up"

at first it was devastating, made me tear up out of nowhere for days. and I learned to do things for myself again - something which I gave up because I was so enamored with her. but I got over it and fixed things, but then a couple of days later, it was pretty damn bad again.

the second time was just infuriating, because I had thought that going through bad times will make couples stronger and better - but that wasn't the case, it simply eroded the trust between us. at that point I was quite doubtful of the foundation of our relationship.

now's the third break up and this time it's just funny.

y'see, i'm a massive fan of dark humor, because I love laughing at absurdities of life.

and at this point I've gotten more rational - seeing that we're both victims in the relationship, seeing that i'm exerting more effort - hence being more tired, seeing how at her core she is deeply damaged and a relationship with her will be horrendously handicapped.

I strongly believe staying in love is a choice and that is going to be pretty damn hard. To like someone is easy, it's just a matter to getting to know them enough where it's easy for the both of you to not lose a lot of time and put in a lot of energy. so it's easy to appreciate, and just as easy to let go. but when you start loving someone, you go into uncomfortable territory. you're forgoing other potentially easier opportunities for superficial happiness in life because you decided to devote yourself to someone - which includes the unlikable parts about that particular person.

but i'm not just about to go romantic here - I strongly believe that you should let go of love when needed.

learn to let go of love if you're not simply strong enough for the person. learn to let go of love when you're willing to admit you're weak. and that will be fine - go for something easier, something comfortable, something that will let you cruise along.

always go for what makes sense for you - no matter how cliché or regurgitated, just be honest with yourself.